Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm. I know; its been comin' for some time. When its over, so they say, it'll rain a sunny day. I know; shinin' down like water. I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? Comin down on a sunny day? Have You Ever Seen the Rain? Creedence Clearwater Revival
The Clermont Half Ironman, called "The Intimidator" by its organizers was a gut check on John and my training to date as we gear up for the full ironman in Arizona in late November. The event turned out to be both intimidating and a gut check on our training.
John had a golf outing with some friends in North Carolina on Friday, so had dropped off his bike and gear bag for me to drive up from Fort Lauderdale. I arranged to pick him up at the Orlando airport around noon on Saturday for the short drive north to Clermont. We checked into our hotel and headed over to the race site to get our numbers and meet up with friends Keith Seago and Jay Greely who were teaming up to do the event as a relay. Keith was scheduled to do the run, Jay was scheduled for the bike and a third buddy, Paul was scheduled for the swim. Unfortunately, Paul had to cancel, so Keith decided to also do the swim.
The days immediately preceding the event were some pretty hot days in Florida. Saturday was no different. I had planned to either ride a portion of the bike course or drive in Saturday afternoon having missed the bike ride 2 weeks prior due forces beyond my control (see my entry on "Life's Curve Balls"). It was so hot, however, that I quickly decided against any pre-race course preview. I wanted to get indoors and out of the heat to avoid any unnecessary dehydration. We spent the afternoon getting our gear ready for the next day and reviewing nutrition and hydration strategies. John, Jay, Keith and I had an early pasta dinner and turned in early.
With the event teed up as a check on our progress, neither John nor I got too worked up about the event. It was viewed more as a training event. In fact, John, knowing my tendency to go out too hard in a race, told me my mantra for the event was: "Pacing, not racing." Thus, race morning, we calmly went through our routines of setting up our gear and bike stations. On my way to drop off my bike, I came across a couple that had seen the car hit me 2 weeks earlier. "Hey, its the guy who got hit by the car," the guy says. "Yes, its me," I reply, "Glad just to be here."
The Swim
As we await the swim start at the edge of Lake Minneola, John says, "I was calm until now. Now, I've got butterflies." "Me too," I say, "I always get them just before the start." Someone points out that the lake has alligators and they only allow swimming in the lake for the triathlons. An interesting fact. I don't know they figure all the activity of a large group of swimmers keeps the alligators away or they just don't give it consideration. Before we know it, the starters have counted down the first group and then our second group. We begin our 1.2 mile swim.
The lake water seems clean, but is murky as mud. If an alligator was in the vicinity, I wouldn't see it until it was too late. In any event, I try to get into a rhythm and avoid the usual bumping and path crossing that typifies a mass swim. Our friend Keith is swimming in the next group wearing green caps. My strategy is to get to the first of 2 turn buoys before any green capped swimmers overtake me. I make the turn and meet that target. However, by the second buoy turn, the faster of the green caps start overtaking me. I manage to get out of the water in 54 minutes, 4 minutes slower than I expected. I'm guessing that the additional time was due to course corrections or a slight current. Keith & John also take longer than expected, so I don't feel too bad about the extra time.
The Bike
At transition, I take some extra time to put on socks with my riding shoes. I also put bike shorts on over my tri shorts figuring the extra padding will be nice for 56, but even better for the 112 on the full ironman. I want to test this new configuration. As I begin my ride, I find the extra shorts to be no problem. In fact they were so comfortable, I forgot to take the riding pants off for the run and completed the race wearing them over my tri shorts.
The bike course is hilly enough that I'm OK with missing the ride 2 weeks prior. If I had done it, I may not have come back. This is a challenging ride with a series of hills. As John said, the extra speed you make on the downhills doesn't quite even out with the extra work on the climbs. Overall, I'm liking the new tri bike and the areo position. However, about 20 miles in, a guy in a black Camaro passes me and pulls over to the side of the road just ahead of me. He is taking up the bike lane and part of the road. To make things worse, the guy swings open his drivers side door to take care of some business. I can't believe this. After having gotten hit by a 89 year old lady who is late for church, I'm about to plow into a guy dressed in black in a black Camaro. Its like God was trying to take me out 2 weeks ago and now the devil wants a shot too. I swing wide and wonder what else Clermont has in store for me.
The bike course includes a hill called Sugarloaf Mountain that has a reputation for being the hardest climb. After going up a series of hills, I wonder if I've already done Sugarloaf Mountain. Then, I make a turn and see it. No mistaking it. A very long uphill climb. I give it what I can, but I don't do much hill climbing. As I get about 3/4ths of the way up the climb, I realize I'm in the lowest (easiest) gears and I've run out of gears. I'm out of the saddle and slowing. I realize I risk coming to a complete stop and falling, so I swallow my pride and dismount. Fortunately, this humiliation only lasts about 20 yards before I remount and finish the climb.
The rest of the ride is fairly uneventful except that at one point on the course, they still have the markings from the ride 2 weeks earlier. As you look down there are three directions. On the left, the is an indication to turn left the has a label stating "1st lap", in the middle a slightly brighter arrow pointing straight ahead, and on the right, a right arrow with the label "2nd lap." I see a rider up the road straight ahead and decide to follow the slightly brighter arrow pointing straight ahead. Coming up behind me, buddy John is not so fortunate. He gets confused and takes a wrong turn. The road does take him back to the course after adding an additional 5 and 1/2 miles to his ride, doing 61.5 miles compared to my 56 mile ride.
At about the 45 mile point on in, I'm kind of tired of the hills and am thinking that I want to be done with the ride and on the run. Its only my second long ride in the tri bike position and I haven't quit worked up the neck and quad muscles to be comfortable on too long of a ride. As I come towards the end of the bike ride, I note that storm clouds are gathering overhead.
Run Through Hell (If Hell was full of rain and thunder)
After racking my bike and changing over to running shoes, I head out of the transition area. I see buddy Keith coming in the other direction. Since the run course is 2 loops of an out and back course covering just under 3.3 miles, I don't know if he is finishing or half way through his run. As I approach the first water stop about a mile in, the rain is falling so hard, I have to remove my sunglasses as they are more a slighting hazard than a help. A few steps later, I feel the cold flow of the cup of water Keith pours over my neck and back. "You'll thank me for that later," he says as he goes by. I realize that Keith has to run his second lap, so I feel pretty good about my progress.
I make my way out to the turn around point and start back. At about the 5 mile mark, I come across John as he crosses the 2 mile marker. He thinks that the course is a one loop out and back and that I'm at mile 11. As we pass each other I say, "Pacing it, not racing it." He thinks I'm running super strong and am rubbing the mantra in his face. In reality, I am just trying to run a nice even pace to finish up this first lap.
As I start on my second lap, my quads that got extra work on the tri bike, now let me know that they are not happy with me. They start twitching on me that lets me know that soon they will be cramping up on me. I start throwing in walk breaks to forestall a total lock up. To add to the excitement, the rain starts coming down in buckets. Its coming down so hard that the run path is covered in flowing water trying to drain off these rolling hills. My quads don't care and don't seem to be helped by the cooler temperatures of the rain. I am now soaked and semi hobbled. I think back on my hydration and nutrition throughout the bike and run and can find no flaws. I think about my pacing on the bike and run. The bike was clearly more work than I am used to doing, but I did try to keep it in a safe mode. No, I think, perhaps my 50 year old body is just not up to exercising for over 6 hours at a shot. Maybe these long triathlons are just beyond what my body can handle. Whatever the issue, I am determined to finish this event if I have to walk it in.
I begin to fear that buddy John will catch me before the finish. I assure myself that this will mean a long ride home in which he lectures me on proper pacing and nutrition. Not a conversation I look forward to hearing. So, I carry on with a run/shuffle and walking when I start to cramp. I make it to the 9.9 mile turn around without John catching up with me. However, as I head back for the final leg of the 13.1 mile run, we cross paths for the last time. John now realizes that he is closing in on me. I have 3 miles to try and hold him off. The rain takes no note. After clearing and heating up the course to a muggy slog, a new storm comes racing across the sky. This time there is lightning accompanied by very close and and very loud, hand of an angry Old Testament God, thunder. Its at this point that I tell the guy running near me that this area of Florida is the lightning capital of the world. People get struck and killed by lightning in these parts. Another very loud crack of thunder comes down from above. I'm beginning to doubt that the Lord wants me to do triathlons in the Clermont area.
The rain again lets up, but its of little matter. The run course is now a river of water soaking our shoes to the point of slowing us runners even more. To add to the fun, the water stops at each mile have run out of water. Its Gatoraide or Coke. Ok, if that's what your stomach wants at this point, but mine wants water. As I come to the 12 mile mark, my right hamstring muscle decides that it too will cramp. I am stopped dead in my tracks. I look behind me as I try to message the camps out of my legs. No sign of John. I start to walk and am able to get a slow jog going again. As I come to the finish, I think to myself that if my buddy John catches and passes me now, there is no justice. I manage to cross the finish line in 7:02. Not a time I am proud of, but one I will accept with several lessons of additional training needed before November 22nd.
As I talk to some other competitors just past the finish line, buddy John comes in about 54 seconds behind me. We congratulate each other and get some water. John starts telling me about his extra miles on the bike. I decide that its his problem. I officially crossed the finish line first and will not have to be lectured to by him. On a very tough day, its the only victory I've got. On the other hand, Keith and Jay took 1st place in the relay division. Jay joked to John that they had a special award for those participants that rode 61 miles.
Post Race
Clearly, if John hadn't added the extra miles, he would have finished about 20 minutes or so before me. However, he too was having the same questions on the course about his ability to double what we did in this half ironman in about 2 months. He starts to use hedging phrases about doing the ironman, but I tell him that you can never think about an endurance event immediately after a tough course like the one we just completed. "Its like asking a woman if she wants to have more children just after she delivers a baby. Its a bad time to think about such things."
As we sit in a picnic shed eating our burgers and hot dogs, the winds kick up really good and the rain starts coming down horizontally. The course finish area starts to break apart and get blown down. The two of us and several other finishers and family supporters also take shelter. As we watch the finish area slowly deteriorate, we note other competitors coming up to the finish line. We all start cheering and clapping for these competitors that are truly getting the worst of it. The least we can do is give them an ovation. With each new finisher, the clapping and cheering gets louder and longer. These triathletes deserve our appreciation and we are happy to oblige.
After the rains die down for the last time, we collect our thoroughly soaked gear bags and walk our bikes back to our vehicle. Along the way, we talk with a triathlete from Miami who has done the Arizona Ironman. He tells us that compared to the course we did today, Arizona will seem easy. We take some solace from his kind words, but realize we have our work cut out for us.
We return to the finish area to be the last people to get messages. We figured we earned this reward. By the time we get back to our hotel, we are hours past the late checkout time and decide to spend a second night in Clermont. We had planned to clean our gear back at the hotel, but its all such a wet mess, we decide to just leave it where it is and put our luggage around it where we can. We shower, relax a little, then go out for celebratory dinner at Chili's with margaritas to lubricate the festivities. We make small talk with the wait staff and discuss the hard work ahead. Its time to step up the training.
Showing posts with label swimming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label swimming. Show all posts
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I Wet Myself...Again
No, not that way! I got back in the pool again this morning for the first time since last November's Half Ironman. Swimming, being my weakest tri event, does not get the attention it deserves. With no tri events over the winter, I totally neglected swim workouts for the last three months. However, with an Olympic tri scheduled for March 15th, it was time to swim again.
I arrange to meet my friend Jacques at a local pool at 8 AM after dropping my 9 year old son, Alex off at school. Before Jacques arrives, I dip my toe into the pool to verify that the pool is heated. Jacques arrives and we get in the pool. With neither of us having done a swim workout since November, we wonder how our endurance will hold up. We agree to swim for 20 minutes.
As I start swimming, my arthritic right shoulder feels stiff and painful. The damage to the shoulder is a result of a skiing fall in my 30s that has now degraded into a stiff joint. The swimming I was doing for triathlons last year did the shoulder a lot of good. I had less stiffness and a better range of motion the more I swam. My shoulder let's me know it's been a while since I've done repeated full arm rotations. Ouch! Can I do this? Will I be forced to roll back to doing duathlons?
As I get a few more laps in, the shoulder starts to loosen up and the ache subsides. I start to remember being in "the zone" in the pool from last fall. I find my rhythm. I start to focus on better breathing technique and my body roll. Oh, good! It's like riding a bike. It all comes back pretty quickly. As we get to the 20 minute mark, Jacques asks whether I'm ready to stop. "No," I reply, "Let's keep going and make it 30 minutes."
We finish the 30 minutes and climb out of the pool. By the time I drive back home and step into the shower, I've got a buzz from having my shoulder and chest muscles pumped up from swimming. I feel great. I can't wait for the next pool workout. I want to get wet again.
I arrange to meet my friend Jacques at a local pool at 8 AM after dropping my 9 year old son, Alex off at school. Before Jacques arrives, I dip my toe into the pool to verify that the pool is heated. Jacques arrives and we get in the pool. With neither of us having done a swim workout since November, we wonder how our endurance will hold up. We agree to swim for 20 minutes.
As I start swimming, my arthritic right shoulder feels stiff and painful. The damage to the shoulder is a result of a skiing fall in my 30s that has now degraded into a stiff joint. The swimming I was doing for triathlons last year did the shoulder a lot of good. I had less stiffness and a better range of motion the more I swam. My shoulder let's me know it's been a while since I've done repeated full arm rotations. Ouch! Can I do this? Will I be forced to roll back to doing duathlons?
As I get a few more laps in, the shoulder starts to loosen up and the ache subsides. I start to remember being in "the zone" in the pool from last fall. I find my rhythm. I start to focus on better breathing technique and my body roll. Oh, good! It's like riding a bike. It all comes back pretty quickly. As we get to the 20 minute mark, Jacques asks whether I'm ready to stop. "No," I reply, "Let's keep going and make it 30 minutes."
We finish the 30 minutes and climb out of the pool. By the time I drive back home and step into the shower, I've got a buzz from having my shoulder and chest muscles pumped up from swimming. I feel great. I can't wait for the next pool workout. I want to get wet again.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
39th Annual Fort Lauderdale Rough Water Swim
---- and how much work I need to do on my swimming!
Background -- Good friend and 7 time Ironman, Carl Rosen, lets me know about this annual swim that will be taking place on January 3, 2009. I quickly agree to join in. Sounds like a great training swim and after swimming a mile in the pool with training buddy Carrie this past Monday, I feel ready to go. Saturday morning, Jan. 3rd, 2009 -- it's a beautiful morning. Temps in the low 70s, sunny and winds at about 8 mph out of the ENE. A slight chop where we would be swimming, but overall, pretty good conditions for the ocean. 9:50, and our group (masters swimmers, 25 yrs and older doing the mile swim) is off. After about 2 minutes, I was swimming all by myself -- because everybody else was already way out in front of me. No worries for me about getting kicked by another swimmer -- one of the small benefits of being the slowest person in the water.
Well, I'm going to quickly note some of the lessons that I learned today during this humiliating STDFL (second to dead _ _ _ _ _ _ _ last) performance and then I'll let an e-mail exchange (below) between me and a few good friends/training buddies, Chris and Tony, describe the rest of the day.
Lessons learned:
1) Don't trust the website re: whether or not you will be permitted to wear a wetsuit. I was the only one wearing a wetsuit. Normally, a wetsuit will give you an advantage with increased buoyancy. Even more humiliating is the fact that I had this advantage and still came in STDFL!
2) If you're going to wear a wetsuit, put body glide on your neck and underarms and possibly other areas as well. My neck was rubbed raw by the chaffing of the wetsuit and my underarms stung like hell when I showered afterwards.
3) Try really hard to swim in a straight line. I'm certain that I swam at least an extra quarter of a mile with my "serpentine" like pattern. On 4 occasions, "bay-watch looking" kayakers redirected me and saved me from swimming across the pond to Europe. I must admit, the third and fourth times I swam off course were on purpose just so that I could better get to know these ladies that might wind up having to save me from drowning --- just kidding, I really never felt like I was in any trouble at all.
4) Know the landmarks on shore so you can gauge your progress along the way. Also, focus on smaller landmarks and use them as intermediate goals. If you choose larger buildings for intermediate goals, you can see them from a much further distance and it takes a really, really long time before you feel like you're making any progress. There were times when I felt like the current might possibly be pushing me backwards.
5) When you finally do make it to the finish area, stay focused and don't let any of your buddies that either weren't swimming or, had already finished a very long time before you, distract you so that you run in a direction that takes you away from the official finish line allowing others who you legitimately beat, to finish ahead of you.
With that said, this mornings 39th Annual Fort Lauderdale Rough Water Swim was a great way to start off the New Year and an awesome training experience.
Caption: John Clidas, 48, from Fort Lauderdale gets directions as he heads to the finish of the 39th Annual Fort Lauderdale Roughwater Open Water Swim.
Now, please enjoy what I think is an incredibly funny e-mail exchange between a few good training buddies about this morning's event:
Tony: How was your swim?
John: STDFL --- second to DFL! But I finished! And chances are that I can only improve -- I can't really get "much" worse although I guess I could still slip to plain old DFL. The winner of the 5K swim was only about a minute behind me -- boy was that close. How embarrassing would that have been -- someone swimming 3.1 miles faster than it took me to swim 1 mile. Oh yeah -- another highlight ---- a Sun Sentinel reporter took my picture and asked for my name. I can only imagine what caption or comments he'll have to go with that picture ---- maybe "dazed and confused 1mile swimmer exits water just slightly ahead of the 5K winner". Oh yeah, another highlight --- I came in first or second in the un-official wetsuit division ----- did I mention that there were only two people wearing wetsuits one of which was me --- so I guess I actually could of come in DFL in that division. But wait, there's more. Chris Howard was there to misdirect me away from the official finishing mat (chip mat) to see if he could help me wind up DFL as opposed to STDFL --- with friends like Chris ---- you know the rest.
Tony: Breaking News: Sun Sentinel head lines,Special Needs Swimmer struggles but finishes swim without assistance!
John: That's a good one! It's kind of like one of those human interest stories.
I can't wait to pass Chris Howard on the run at St. Anthony's!!! I'll write that headline: "Special Needs Swimmer Passes Special Friend on The Last Leg of St. Anthony's Triathlon"!! This trash-talk should help to improve Chris' training and eventual performance -- it works every time.
Chris: Chris overslept. Never would have hung with you guys, anyway. 70 miles is way over my pay grade at this juncture. (this was a reference to the bike ride that Chris missed this morning)
Technically, I didn’t misdirect John, rather when he came out of the water and approached me instead of the two-time Olympic gold medalist waving a massive red flag in the middle of the exit shoot, I merely pointed out that if he wanted to go from good to great and be the best at being the worst, he’d need to wait a few seconds for the last place swimmer. This discussion nearly took long enough to process in his water logged head that he almost did it. Almost. It’s gotta suck, when you suck so bad you even suck at sucking.
I’m up for anything relatively mild tomorrow am (swim, bike, run or any combo thereof). Any takers?
Chris
p.s. Kidding aside, swimming against the current, dodging jelly fish, navigating a little rip at the exit point and that distance weren’t easy in rough water, so I’m proud of our short bus project, John. I’m certain I would have struggled to get through it (albeit with the dignity of trying it sans illegal wetsuit), and have the utmost respect for John gamely fighting the elements and what appeared to be himself for a good hour out there. You da man!!!!!!
p.p.s. By the way, was that other email a throwing down of the gauntlet for a gentlemen’s wager (one dollar plus bragging rights) re: St Anthony’s? If so, IT’S ON BABY!
p.p.p.s. The other guy with a wetsuit was legitimately over 80 years old. He couldn’t walk. They had to escort him up the beach, and frankly, the suit looked very thin (2 mil?) and perhaps was a neutrally buoyant poly pro suit. Conversely, not to cast dispersions on John’s efforts, but I’d wager he’d wear about the same thickness of wetsuit he was wearing if diving in the north Atlantic. I’m just saying. Anyway, he had the decency to ditch his water wings before reaching shore, so at least the pic of the twin caterpillars clinging for dear life onto his wet forehead as he exited the heavy surf as if he were a landing onto the shores of Normandy won’t be besmirched by the little duckies.
L,
C
John: Hmmmm -- let me address your points in order:
1) Overslept, 70 miles is too long, over my pay grade at this juncture, I had to do laundry, my panties needed to be ironed, etc. etc. etc! Come on Mr. Howard --- man up already and get in the game dude! Remember, there are two things in life: 1) Results and 2) Excuses . Lately, all I'm hearing out of you is #2 (doo-doo ---- lots of it too).
2) Regarding me "sucking so bad that I suck at sucking" --- okay, I'll give you that point after today's performance. But heck, a year ago, I couldn't swim 50 yards in a pool without having to stop. Watch out buddy --- my improvement trajectory isn't really that bad. More instruction to develop some technique coupled with more time in the water and soon enough I'll be able to ride in your wake effortlessly and sprint past you at the finish.
3) Did you say that you're up to "anything relatively mild" tomorrow. Wow -- I guess that's a big leap going from spectator to "relatively mild" participant. Do you think you'll really be up to it??
4) Thanks for your effort in acknowledging my "effort". I knew you were capable of finding something positive to say --- even though every other sentence had a counterbalancing dig (i.e. "short bus project", "dignity of trying it sans illegal wetsuit", "fighting the elements and what appeared to be himself for a good hour out there"). Okay, these were funny lines.
5) Regarding that "gentleman's wager" for St. Anthony's --- you're on! You don't know what you just got yourself into. You have all to lose and absolutely nothing to gain. Face it, you're the odds on favorite to kill me in this race. But I'm still going to give it my best to whoop your ass! And yes -- I have just thrown down the gauntlet!!!!
6) You're right about the (only) guy that I beat. He was wearing a neutrally buoyant poly pro suit which technically, is not a wet suit. So there you have it -- I did come in first in the un-official wet-suit division! By the way, can you provide evidence that this guy was 80? Do you even know who the last place finisher was and how old he was? I'm calling BULLSHIT on your race reporting!
Okay -- with all of that said, thanks so much for writing, and helping me to write the other piece of, what I think is going to be a most humorous and entertaining blog entry.
I still love you and I'm absolutely, positively just having FUN with all of this craziness.
John
P.S. Have you already come up with an excuse for blowing us off for the bike ride tomorrow morning?
Background -- Good friend and 7 time Ironman, Carl Rosen, lets me know about this annual swim that will be taking place on January 3, 2009. I quickly agree to join in. Sounds like a great training swim and after swimming a mile in the pool with training buddy Carrie this past Monday, I feel ready to go. Saturday morning, Jan. 3rd, 2009 -- it's a beautiful morning. Temps in the low 70s, sunny and winds at about 8 mph out of the ENE. A slight chop where we would be swimming, but overall, pretty good conditions for the ocean. 9:50, and our group (masters swimmers, 25 yrs and older doing the mile swim) is off. After about 2 minutes, I was swimming all by myself -- because everybody else was already way out in front of me. No worries for me about getting kicked by another swimmer -- one of the small benefits of being the slowest person in the water.
Well, I'm going to quickly note some of the lessons that I learned today during this humiliating STDFL (second to dead _ _ _ _ _ _ _ last) performance and then I'll let an e-mail exchange (below) between me and a few good friends/training buddies, Chris and Tony, describe the rest of the day.
Lessons learned:
1) Don't trust the website re: whether or not you will be permitted to wear a wetsuit. I was the only one wearing a wetsuit. Normally, a wetsuit will give you an advantage with increased buoyancy. Even more humiliating is the fact that I had this advantage and still came in STDFL!
2) If you're going to wear a wetsuit, put body glide on your neck and underarms and possibly other areas as well. My neck was rubbed raw by the chaffing of the wetsuit and my underarms stung like hell when I showered afterwards.
3) Try really hard to swim in a straight line. I'm certain that I swam at least an extra quarter of a mile with my "serpentine" like pattern. On 4 occasions, "bay-watch looking" kayakers redirected me and saved me from swimming across the pond to Europe. I must admit, the third and fourth times I swam off course were on purpose just so that I could better get to know these ladies that might wind up having to save me from drowning --- just kidding, I really never felt like I was in any trouble at all.
4) Know the landmarks on shore so you can gauge your progress along the way. Also, focus on smaller landmarks and use them as intermediate goals. If you choose larger buildings for intermediate goals, you can see them from a much further distance and it takes a really, really long time before you feel like you're making any progress. There were times when I felt like the current might possibly be pushing me backwards.
5) When you finally do make it to the finish area, stay focused and don't let any of your buddies that either weren't swimming or, had already finished a very long time before you, distract you so that you run in a direction that takes you away from the official finish line allowing others who you legitimately beat, to finish ahead of you.
With that said, this mornings 39th Annual Fort Lauderdale Rough Water Swim was a great way to start off the New Year and an awesome training experience.
Caption: John Clidas, 48, from Fort Lauderdale gets directions as he heads to the finish of the 39th Annual Fort Lauderdale Roughwater Open Water Swim.
Now, please enjoy what I think is an incredibly funny e-mail exchange between a few good training buddies about this morning's event:
Tony: How was your swim?
John: STDFL --- second to DFL! But I finished! And chances are that I can only improve -- I can't really get "much" worse although I guess I could still slip to plain old DFL. The winner of the 5K swim was only about a minute behind me -- boy was that close. How embarrassing would that have been -- someone swimming 3.1 miles faster than it took me to swim 1 mile. Oh yeah -- another highlight ---- a Sun Sentinel reporter took my picture and asked for my name. I can only imagine what caption or comments he'll have to go with that picture ---- maybe "dazed and confused 1mile swimmer exits water just slightly ahead of the 5K winner". Oh yeah, another highlight --- I came in first or second in the un-official wetsuit division ----- did I mention that there were only two people wearing wetsuits one of which was me --- so I guess I actually could of come in DFL in that division. But wait, there's more. Chris Howard was there to misdirect me away from the official finishing mat (chip mat) to see if he could help me wind up DFL as opposed to STDFL --- with friends like Chris ---- you know the rest.
Tony: Breaking News: Sun Sentinel head lines,Special Needs Swimmer struggles but finishes swim without assistance!
John: That's a good one! It's kind of like one of those human interest stories.
I can't wait to pass Chris Howard on the run at St. Anthony's!!! I'll write that headline: "Special Needs Swimmer Passes Special Friend on The Last Leg of St. Anthony's Triathlon"!! This trash-talk should help to improve Chris' training and eventual performance -- it works every time.
Chris: Chris overslept. Never would have hung with you guys, anyway. 70 miles is way over my pay grade at this juncture. (this was a reference to the bike ride that Chris missed this morning)
Technically, I didn’t misdirect John, rather when he came out of the water and approached me instead of the two-time Olympic gold medalist waving a massive red flag in the middle of the exit shoot, I merely pointed out that if he wanted to go from good to great and be the best at being the worst, he’d need to wait a few seconds for the last place swimmer. This discussion nearly took long enough to process in his water logged head that he almost did it. Almost. It’s gotta suck, when you suck so bad you even suck at sucking.
I’m up for anything relatively mild tomorrow am (swim, bike, run or any combo thereof). Any takers?
Chris
p.s. Kidding aside, swimming against the current, dodging jelly fish, navigating a little rip at the exit point and that distance weren’t easy in rough water, so I’m proud of our short bus project, John. I’m certain I would have struggled to get through it (albeit with the dignity of trying it sans illegal wetsuit), and have the utmost respect for John gamely fighting the elements and what appeared to be himself for a good hour out there. You da man!!!!!!
p.p.s. By the way, was that other email a throwing down of the gauntlet for a gentlemen’s wager (one dollar plus bragging rights) re: St Anthony’s? If so, IT’S ON BABY!
p.p.p.s. The other guy with a wetsuit was legitimately over 80 years old. He couldn’t walk. They had to escort him up the beach, and frankly, the suit looked very thin (2 mil?) and perhaps was a neutrally buoyant poly pro suit. Conversely, not to cast dispersions on John’s efforts, but I’d wager he’d wear about the same thickness of wetsuit he was wearing if diving in the north Atlantic. I’m just saying. Anyway, he had the decency to ditch his water wings before reaching shore, so at least the pic of the twin caterpillars clinging for dear life onto his wet forehead as he exited the heavy surf as if he were a landing onto the shores of Normandy won’t be besmirched by the little duckies.
L,
C
John: Hmmmm -- let me address your points in order:
1) Overslept, 70 miles is too long, over my pay grade at this juncture, I had to do laundry, my panties needed to be ironed, etc. etc. etc! Come on Mr. Howard --- man up already and get in the game dude! Remember, there are two things in life: 1) Results and 2) Excuses . Lately, all I'm hearing out of you is #2 (doo-doo ---- lots of it too).
2) Regarding me "sucking so bad that I suck at sucking" --- okay, I'll give you that point after today's performance. But heck, a year ago, I couldn't swim 50 yards in a pool without having to stop. Watch out buddy --- my improvement trajectory isn't really that bad. More instruction to develop some technique coupled with more time in the water and soon enough I'll be able to ride in your wake effortlessly and sprint past you at the finish.
3) Did you say that you're up to "anything relatively mild" tomorrow. Wow -- I guess that's a big leap going from spectator to "relatively mild" participant. Do you think you'll really be up to it??
4) Thanks for your effort in acknowledging my "effort". I knew you were capable of finding something positive to say --- even though every other sentence had a counterbalancing dig (i.e. "short bus project", "dignity of trying it sans illegal wetsuit", "fighting the elements and what appeared to be himself for a good hour out there"). Okay, these were funny lines.
5) Regarding that "gentleman's wager" for St. Anthony's --- you're on! You don't know what you just got yourself into. You have all to lose and absolutely nothing to gain. Face it, you're the odds on favorite to kill me in this race. But I'm still going to give it my best to whoop your ass! And yes -- I have just thrown down the gauntlet!!!!
6) You're right about the (only) guy that I beat. He was wearing a neutrally buoyant poly pro suit which technically, is not a wet suit. So there you have it -- I did come in first in the un-official wet-suit division! By the way, can you provide evidence that this guy was 80? Do you even know who the last place finisher was and how old he was? I'm calling BULLSHIT on your race reporting!
Okay -- with all of that said, thanks so much for writing, and helping me to write the other piece of, what I think is going to be a most humorous and entertaining blog entry.
I still love you and I'm absolutely, positively just having FUN with all of this craziness.
John
P.S. Have you already come up with an excuse for blowing us off for the bike ride tomorrow morning?
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